Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Fucking Ass Off

Oh T-Pain, thank you. I needed a giggle and you gave me one. To his credit he says that not only is his home fully paid for but ALL of his children have 7-figure trust funds set aside. If that's true then I can look at your $410,000 chain (10lbs. 197kts. got. damn.) and not call you so many mean names. But, you did say you had 32 cars? I hope you're not for serious. Because that would be just ignorant you, you, you, you.... You know what I'm not gonna even say it, but, that's only because your house is paid for. Good boy.

My kind of pick me up

Kia always does the cutest pick me ups. 

They're so cute and precious and always seem to do just what they should, pick you up lol

Well, I've been going through a bit of a rough patch lately and a song came on XM radio and it totally, for lack of a better phrase, picked me up!

You guys know how I am. I'm a Miami girl. I love shopping, clubbing, firting, so, although this pick me up is not a Disney movie remix by any stretch of the imagination , if this song doesn't make you get up and shake your ass, go to the hospital, because you're probably dead. 

Like I said it picked my ass up!

God bless baby sisters

perezhilton.com

Oh my frick!!! I have been about to shit myself trying to figure out where I've seen that sexy Indian/wolf kid from Twilight before! I swear to God I was going insane, because every time I saw his face I was like I know I've seen this kid before!!

I had to do my process of elimination. He wasn't on any of the shows on Disney or Nick I watch (yes I'm 20 and watch Disney and Nickelodeon), or any of my favorite little kid movies.  I had all but given up until...

My little sister (13) says, as we drool over his New Moon pics, "He used to be so young in Shark boy and Lava girl." And I was like, "Oh shit! That is the boy!" 

Of course I wouldn't have remembered that on my own. I took her to see that shitty ass movie ages ago. I hated it! It was so dumb! I didn't pay attention at all. All I remember is saying, "That girl (I've seen her somewhere else too, but me and my sister can't remember from where to save our lives) looks dumb with that pink wig, and lava is red, so she should be red."

And I thought, that little boy kind of does look like a shark...

Now he's a stone cold fox baby!

It needs no title, no intro...

PS Watch in full 

screen mode

If you ever had any doubts...

Here's Hugh Jackman and here's Hugh Jackman's BEARD

pereshilton.com

YES GIRL THAT IS HIS WIFE!!! If you had any doubts about what team he plays for.... Well u know

And if you don't get it or you don't know what a beard it is, you're probably reading the wrong blog, try the Huffington Post babe

Sumbody's gonna be in trouble come Monday mornin!

Was anyone else watching the MTV movie awards? Apparently nobody is really watching. I love award shows. The awkward moments that live TV brings, watching Celebs sit in a  room with other celebs. You can just tell that they're all uncomfortable with being not so special in the moment. It's one thing to be the only famous person in  a building or 1 of a couple. But there's a whole bunch everywhere and they're not getting paid a bunch of attention, it makes them squirmy and moody. Awesome lol

 Ok that's enough, to my point. If you were watching, did you see the Bruno-Eminem moment?!?!?

The whole time I'm like, "Is this for real, no it's not, shit yes it is, oh my god they bout to fight!" 

Now if you weren't watching, what had happened was, Bruno (Sascha Baron Cohen's new movie character) came into the building on a harness like an angel. He was saying something (god

know wut) and then he gets twisted up in the harness and is now hanging upside down. Did I mention he's wearing something like a thin ass white thong, no pants? Well, yea. 

So, he starts to descend, and he falls head first into the lap of Eminem! So now him and Eminem are in the 69 position!!! So Eminem's screaming, "Are you serious, are you fucking serious?" But you can't really see his face because Bruno and his huge ass angel wings are covering him lmao! So Eminem's trying to push Bruno off and he tells two members of D-12, "get this motherfucker off of me!" And the two of them and Tyrese yank Bruno (rather violently) off. 

Eminem looking BEYOND pissed storms off. MTV could care less, they figured "he's filmed his performing obligations, fuck it" and their cameras are all up in his face paparazzi, TMZ style. Every single person in the building is uncomfortable, nervous and whispering to their neighbor "WTF?"

At first I was swearing it was planed but MTV didn't bleep out Eminem cursing and they're not juts going to let him say motherfucker all willy nilly, joke or no joke. And I saw Eminem in 8 mile and he did a decent job acting as himself. But the look on his face was just too real.

I think MTV and Sacha Baron Cohen planned it, but Eminem had no clue!

Trust me when I tell you, he's not just gonna let that shit ride. He's gonna make somebody pay for that shit. He's a rapper, they're not to fond of public humiliation, especially when it involves them 69ing a dude...

What time is it?

Oh My God. I thought this day would never get here. IT IS SUMMER!!!!!!! I can't help but think of that part in HSM2 (yes I fucks with it so heavy I use the acronym) when they do the summer countdown. We should all run in front of Arnold and break out in a full song and dance routine!!!!

Don't act like you don't want to watch it

What time is it? Summertime! It's our vacation!!! SCHOOL'S OUT SCREAM AND SHOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!